abyss

14 04 2011

a month ago the situation with XXXXXXXX XXXX was looking buoyant.  a management buy-out plan was being hatched by the business’s original founding MD, and if successful, there was every reason to expect the company to be viable.

by the time i got back from holidays, the silence was deafening on all of that.  turns out that plan turned to dogshit.  other plans may be afoot, but no ones sayin’.  deadlines for placing orders for calendars for next season are looming, and if missed, severely compromise the entire retail effort, and possibly the entire business, as well as many of the smaller local publishers whose sales come significantly from XXXXXXXX XXXX’s retail season.  one of those local publishers is my client#2.

the Voluntary Administrators aren’t going to sign purchase orders for several million dollars worth of calendars for a business that might not exist in 6 months time, so if a new owner with a plan doesn’t come to fruition fast, XXXXXXXX XXXX, several smaller/local calendar publishers, and me, are in dogshit too.

suddenly i’m staring into an abyss of “what the fuck will i do if this all turns to dogshit?”.  i can’t easily survive without client#1, and client#1’s failure might have repercussions on client#2 (more than they already have), which might have additional repercussions on me.

options:  find new clients of a similar vein; or do something completely different.

despite 11 years of self-employment, i’ve barely had to lift a finger to get the handful of clients that i’ve maintained to this day, so finding new ones is just as daunting an option as doing something altogether different.  regular readers will remember i pondered these issues almost exactly 12 months ago, as part of a plan to relocate to Byron Bay.  i’m ashamed to say, i’ve done nothing toward that goal, lulled into complacency & distraction by the rekindling with J.

coincidentally, J is facing the same decision, but for mostly different reasons: tired of his status quo, frustrated by colleagues who don’t share his progressive ideas on UI/UX, but so far not finding a new job opportunity that would satisfy his desire to work in a manner, and with people, who share his views on UI/UX.

we’ve both been reading/listening to various people – industry ‘elites’ even in their own modest way – who’ve risen above similar situations and created for themselves situations where they, for the most part at least, have true independence from the vagaries & occasional stupidity of bosses/clients.  i suspect we’re both mulling over options on how to emulate their success.  it’s times like these i regret not getting into web technologies at any time over the last decade – if I had, we’d probably make a great team (professionally speaking) right about now.

i don’t suffer from real insomnia very often at all, but tonight would be one :-(

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