he walks among us, but he is not one of us.

14 11 2009

had my first psych session today.  attempted to sum up my situation in 50 minutes. #fail

but at least it was a start.  despite my world opening back up to something approximating normality in the last month or two, i’ve been at this precarious stage a couple of times before, and am determined not to fall back into old habits this time.  so in the spirit of “for things to change, first i must change” (and “a useful definition of stupidity is always doing the same thing, but expecting a different result”), i’ve decided to re-engage professional services.  a qualified psychologist this time.

i saw a ‘counsellor’ for 9 months in 07.  although that was useful, the gentle approach of Narrative Therapy ultimately didn’t help me get to the jugular of this one.  time for a bigger knife…

this lady apparently does CBT – Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, though i always thought CBT stood for something quite different :p

thank the lords of kobol, the Oz govt is now subsidising qualified psych therapy, so this should only cost me about $30/session, hopefully for at least 12 sessions, which should provide a few months of solid engagement (plus 4 weeks while she’s on holidays in january :( ).

just from the background questions she asked me, a quote from LOST (tv show – Jack’s arm tattoo) that’s always stuck in my mind, and which also came to my consciousness recently when i noticed a tattoo on @richokinetic’s arm, came up today: “He walks among us, but he is not one of us” (which has nothing at all to do with Richo).  kinda sums up alot of my life’s story.  maybe it’s time to work through that one…

but now having waited 2.5 weeks for my 1st appointment, i have to wait for another 2.5 weeks to the next one :( but then 3 weeks in a row up to xmas.  looking forward to it…

p.s. it’s come to my attention that this “he walks among us, but is not one of us” expression has biblical heritage.  suffice to say, i was both unaware of this, and not wishing to make any religious references by using it.  my take on the expression is somewhat more practical, in a sociological sense :)